Don’t Allow Your Relationship Status to Carry so Much Weight

Being single is a period in a woman’s life that is not as highly regarded as it should be. This is your opportunity to explore and create experiences that you will forever cherish throughout the years, simply because it allows you to discover and define the person you are. Whether you find yourself in between relationships or just haven’t found the soul you completely vibe with, make sure to utilize this time to embrace all the things that uniquely make you, YOU.

Some women use their singlehood as a chance to regain focus on certain passions that get lost through the distraction of being with someone. Others are challenging the double standard that women can’t have casual/non-monogamous sex without the slut shaming that goes along with it.

Whether or not you are dating freely or opting to take a “man ban”, take advantage of the simple moments you get to enjoy that you most likely would not if you were in a relationship. Mine, for example, are the glorious uninterrupted naps, spending time nurturing my friendships, and not having to compromise. Enjoy the journey and believe it will lead you to the person you are supposed to end up with.

The word “single” is often plagued with pity and embarrassment, as though somehow being in a relationship validates you.  I know it’s not fun to be the only single friend at a dinner party, but it’s far more important to foster healthy, motivating, and pure relationships than to be able to have a plus 1. Don’t forget being single is a choice, a beautiful one that should be commended.

It’s crucial to create healthy expectations for prospective partners. There is nothing sexier than a confident woman who knows what she wants. The beauty of kissing all those frogs will undoubtedly help you realize what you want and don’t want.

More and more women are challenging social expectations and jumping off of the relationship escalator. We no longer live in this dating, marriage, then children paradigm.  Women are focusing on self reliance, not letting the biological clock take over their lives, and most importantly, realizing that being in a relationship does not equate their worth.

My advice to you is if you’re solo right now, enjoy the shit out of this time! How often have you heard your taken friends say “If I wasn’t married…” or “you’re so lucky you are single”. Don’t be fooled by the false relationship goals that are flooding your social media feed. I can almost guarantee the couples that rarely post appreciate their time much more because they are living in the moment with their partner, rather than spending endless hours deciding on captions and filters to portray their happiness on Instagram. Truth is, there is beauty on both sides of the relationship spectrum, and no matter which end you may be on, be mindful and accept that the universe has placed you exactly where you need to be. The stars will align and you will meet that special person that makes loving someone feel effortless.


1. The sex is exponentially better!

She has had her fair share of experiences and now knows what she likes and does not. She will be vocal and guide you and I guarantee you will have lots of fun.

2. She knows what she wants out of life.

By this point she knows what fulfills her and what her 5 year plan is. If you can’t offer what she wants, its best to not waste anyone’s time.

3. She most likely has a career and is financially independent.

She pays her own bills and does not need someone to save her - this leaves her dating field much larger because she isn’t in search for financial security.

4. She doesn’t play games, nor will she engage in in yours!

If she wants to call you, chances are she’s going to do it, regardless of if she was the last one to reach out.

5. Did I mention drama-free?

She understands life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

6. She exudes class and sophistication which is so damn sexy.

She is comfortable in her own skin and you won’t have to worry about how she may present herself in front of your friends or family.

7. If the relationship is no longer serving her, she will walk away.

She most likely has been cheated on by an ex, been betrayed, and been with people who are afraid to commit. She respects herself too much to put herself through unnecessary hurt so she will simply cut ties and not look back.

8. She takes care of her man.

When you believe a female is your equal, she will make sure you are fed, clothed, and satisfied. Even if she is running a corporation, her femininity and vulnerability will shine through because she knows she’s adored & appreciated.

9. She’s worldly; can have educated discussions and debates.

She travels, reads, and constantly improving her mental and spiritual self.

10. She is dating you because she sees something in you.

With the preciousness of time and plethora of fish in the sea, she’s with you because she wants to be, so don’t waste her time if the feelings aren’t mutual.


Ashton Saldana